Jack, Mac and the Zombie Apocalypse
by poxelda
Summary: Pretty much what it says, a bit of fluff generated by automated online story prompt-humor


"I'm telling you, this is how it all ends, man," Jack said looking over his shoulder as he ran.

"Shut up and run." Mac panted.

"Zombies, man. I told you, Zombies."

"They aren't zombies," Mac said pausing and turning back. He had to admit they may not be zombies, but they were as close as you can get this side of rotting flesh. The long wave of scientists lumbering at running speed never seemed to tire, they didn't feel pain, they craved human flesh and bullets couldn't kill them. Mac's eyes darted around. They were inside a locked compound. They had been sent to stop this virus from being released and arrived an hour too late.

"Well if they aren't zombies, what the hell are they, genius?" Jack growled as he turned and shot the lead pursuer in the knee. The woman's leg flew off. She paused then tumbled to the side, still trying to claw her way forward. Jack grabbed Mac's arm and pulled him into a fast sprint. They were the infected scientist's last chance.

"They are infected with a virus, Jack, not some creepy undead fiction…" Mac began.

"They want to eat our brains!"

"No, they crave human flesh, the blood cells…"

"I don't care, they want to EAT us!" Jack yelled. The DARPA facility consisted of five buildings. They were running for the lab which was in the farthest corner of the compound, of course. The eeriest thing was the silence which the infected personnel chased them Other than a rustle of clothing and thump of 165 pairs of shoes on concrete they made no moaning or speech sounds.

Jack reached the security door first. He went to shoot the electric lock which required a key card.

"No, Jack don't" Mac huffed.

"What? Why?" Jack demanded looking back at the fast approaching horde. Mac already had his knife out and was prying the card holder off. He panted as he cut a blue and white wire.

"You'll cause a lock down." He panted.

"Oh great! Well, you better hurry up, Mac! That cute secretary has her eye on my brain." Mac tapped the wires together wincing at the small electrical shock. The huge double doors began to fold open slowly. Mac grinned at Jack.

"Nah, she wouldn't waste time with your brain, she's a thigh girl, more food less gristle." Jack shot him a dark glare.

"I'll give you gristle, maybe I'll let them take a nibble out of you." They ducked into the door as soon as it was wide enough.

"Shoot the lock!" Mac yelled.

"I thought you said-"

"We're inside!"

"Oh. Ok." Jack fired and the lock inside the door exploded into sparks. The infected zombies were only steps away from the doors before they were locked out. Mac and Jack looked at each other and grinned.

"Now we have, "Mac looked at his watch, "15 minutes to find a cure, save 165 people and get the hell out of here before General Hammond turns this place into a crater," Mac said cheerfully. Jack scowled at him as he reloaded.

"Oh, that's all. Don't know why we worry." He said sarcastically rolling his eyes. They turned to the building and their faces fell. Down a level from them stretched an Indiana Jone's sized warehouse. Jack looked at Mac. "And what's plan B?" Mac sighed.

"What's always plan B?" He ran down the stairs. Jack followed him.

"Well get to improvising, man. I always thought it'd be cool to die in the zombie apocalypse, but it's lost its charm."

"It's not the zombie apocalypse," Mac yelled over his shoulder as he paused and stretched looking in both directions at the bottom of the stairs. He turned to the right and started running along the long cement path.

"Oh well excuse the hell out of me! What do you call it when mad scientist invent zombies then they get out and eat everybody? That's how every zombie movie ever starts, dude."

"Ok, a) These weren't mad scientists they were researching a way to help wounded in combat, b) They aren't out anywhere, that's why this facility is in the middle of the desert and c) they won't eat everybody. Even if they did get out into the population they would only be able to feed on…" Mac did quick calculations in his head. "...about 10% of the population." Jack glared at the back of his friend's head.

"Where are we going?" Jack grumbled. He knew better than to question Mac's arithmetic. Mac stopped at a long hallway that leads to bathrooms, cleaning supplies. He darted in and began to glance at labels. He thrust several into Jack's arms then pulled more. He took the mop ringer off the yellow bucket and threw the bottles into the bucket. Jack unloaded his. Mac tossed in the mop and pushed the bucket ahead of them back into the hall they'd run from.

"We need the maintenance room!" Mac yelled. He looked at something up on the roof. Jack looked up and saw only pipes. "This way." Mac tossed over his shoulder and he ran behind the bucket. Jack thought he looked like he was curling. Half way down the hallway there was a large locked double door made of red cage material. Behind it was a wall of power breakers, tanks, switches and walls of gauges Jack couldn't begin to name.

Before Jack could say a word the lock was open and Mac dashed over to one then followed a thick insulated white pipe with his finger. It went up across the ceiling then forked into the warehouse and back toward a large tank. Mac smiled and dragged the bucket over. "Turn those two knobs there," Mac yelled pointing. Jack saw two round red handles on the wall above the tank. He went and leaned over them and pushed. It took a minute before he felt a crack then the wheels turned easily.

Jack wiped at sweat running down his forehead and dusted off his hands on his pants. Mac was bent over the tank adding all of the chemicals. He leaned his head back and coughed.

"Mac, be careful." Jack cautioned. Mac threw him a glare then leaned in and covered the spout to the tank. He stood up. 

"Ok Jack, you have to climb up to the ceiling…" Jack looked at a narrow ladder that leads up to the ceiling he winced at how high it was. Mac held out his lighter. "Hold this under the sprinkler until it turns on, but not until you see them all come inside."

"Come inside? What the hell…"

"No, time to argue," Mac yelled as he turned and ran back the way they came. Jack glanced at his watch. 10 minutes left.

"Won't have to worry about being a zombie's chew toy, just fall and break every bone...then have to lay there and they'll come running," Jack mumbled as he began to climb as fast as he could. "Like I'm a steak buffet…C'mon and get it prime Jack Dalton on the grill with some A-1 sauce with a side of mashed potatoes..."

"You know I can hear you." Mac gasped, breathing hard. " and if you fell you'd probably die, and b) there's no way you'd be steak...more like a bacon cheeseburger…" Jack was almost at the top. He glanced around and saw a sprinkler head reasonably close. He'd have to stretch across a pair of pipes but he could do it.

"Yeah well, you'd be a chicken wing, all bone, and no meat," Jack grunted. He reached the top and glance down. Mac was bent over the broken lock. Jack frowned. Even up there Jack could hear the thump of bodies as the crowd outside hit the double doors. "Mac, what are you planning on doing when those doors open?" Jack asked mildly.

"Run like hell." Mac gasped, breathing hard.

"Mac-" Jack began, the snap of a spray of sparks and Mac's yelp interrupted him.

"Mac! You ok?" Jack felt his heart beat.

"Uh-huh," Mac grunted. He shook his hand then put his hand in the smoking hole up to his elbow. He pulled, they yanked his arm out He turned and started sprinting toward Jack. "Wait until they're all inside." Mac panted. Jack watched his friend sprint. He shook his head hating not being down to help Mac.

"What happens when the sprinkler goes off?" Jack asked.

"Chemicals...released...should….kill….the virus." Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Should?" Jack's mouth was dry.

"More than likely," Mac grunted. Jack could see his partner falter.

"Mac?"

"Ok, almost there." Mac ran with a hand pressed to his side. Jack watched the mass of zombies run into the warehouse and fan out across the warren of aisles. There were still too many chasing Mac for Jack's liking. Mac reached the ladder and started to climb. Three zombies grabbed his legs and pulled him off.

"MAC!" Jack yelled. He leaned down and shot toward the milling mass. He tried to aim away from MacGyver, but couldn't see his friend. He heard a yelp and mutter then Mac was climbing again kicking out at the arms reaching for him. Mac crawled as fast as he could.

"Are they all in?" Mac breathed. Jack looked over to the door. There were only a few milling around the outside door.

"Close enough," Jack yelled. He reached over and lit the lighter holding it under the sprinkler.

"Try not to breath." Mac gasped. He was half way up the ladder.

"What?" Jack looked down panic in his expression.

"It's a little poisonous," Mac said pausing to breath.

"A little? How much is a little?" Jack howled.

"Probably won't kill you,"

"PROBABLY?" Mac sucked in air and kept climbing.

"Might...burn out a lung...or...kidney." Mac almost reached Jack.

"Uh, Mac you kind of need those." Jack protested. Mac looked up at Jack and smiled.

"Nah, besides the fall will kill us first." Mac's chest heaved for air. There was a loud clank, sputter than a neon green fluid began to pour down. As it his the lower floors it sizzled then turned to a thick green fog. Mac put his arm across his mouth to try to stop coughing. Jack followed suit. Mac leaned forward his head dropping a little.

"Mac?" Jack's voice was muffled. Mac looked up his eyes watering. He looked like he was going to puke. Jack knew how he felt. The room spun every time he moved his head. 

"I'm ok, the highest concentration is on the floor...should last only a few minutes." Jack closed his eyes and focused on breathing slowly and shallowly. The back of his throat and lungs burned with every breath. His skin reddened and he felt like he was wrapped in skin tight sandpaper. There was another clang and the sprinklers turned off. Jack looked down, almost all of the zombies were twirling then falling unmoving to the ground. Another five minutes Mac lowered his arms and took in a deep breath. He wrinkled his nose and looked up at Jack. 

"It's dispersed, we should be safe." Jack nodded and sucked in air. He coughed. The air had a tingle to it as if they were about to be hit by lightening and tasted like mothballs. Mac slowly descended the ladder. His muscles shaking with strain Jack followed suit. Mac staggered when he stepped down to the concrete. He caught himself on the ladder and bent over choking. Jack actually fell on one knee. He coughed and pulled himself up. He looked at his watch. 3 minutes to spare. Jack took out their sat phone and called Matty. Mac bent over one of the scientists and his shoulders slumped in relief. The woman's vitals were normal. In a few second she moaned and started gagging. She looked up and blinked at him.

"Who are you?" She croaked. "Where are my glasses?" The others soon began to stir. Mac began to laugh and lurched over to Jack who grinned back. They fist bumped.

"Dude do you realize we just stopped the zombie apocalypse!" Jack said his eyes wide with excitement. Mac rolled his eyes, too tired to correct his friend. He put his arm on Jack's shoulder as they hobbled through the waking scientists.

"You know what I could go for?" Jack announced.

"Steak?"

"No a bacon cheeseburger." Mac laughed. 

"Sure, buddy. Whatever you want."


End file.
